MommaVenture: Try to Remember

Try to remember the kind of September
When life was slow and, oh, so mellow
Try to remember the kind of September
When grass was green and grain was yellow.

Try to remember the kind of September
When you were a tender and callow fellow
Try to remember and if you remember
Then follow.

Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow
Try to remember when life was so tender
And dreams were kept beside your pillow.

Deep in December, it's nice to remember
The fire of September that made us mellow
Deep in December, it's nice to remember
And follow.
-- ROY ORBISON

Today is laundry day. While I don't particularly enjoy doing laundry, it offers a great time to reflect. I love the smell and warmth of freshly cleaned and dried clothing being pulled out of the dryer. When I go for runs, I can pick up the smell of clean laundry from any house leaking out of the dryer pipe. I usually slow down for a bit and take in very deep breaths. No matter what kind of detergent or softener you use, the smell is enjoyable, relaxing, and reminiscent.

I remember when Chad was born at the aching early hours of the day, at 3:35am to be exact, and lifting him up to smell his sweetness and feel the warmth of his face against mine. I remember kissing him so softly and checking out all of his little toes and fingers to see his uniqueness. I remember how he fell asleep so gently against my chest and breathed so softly and peacefully.

I remember how I thought he had grown so much in just a few days after we brought him home. His wrinkles began to unfold. He had shape to his head and body. His eyes were exploring more and more around him. He was beginning to recognize home.

And how alert and captivating he was at just two weeks old. How he still had not taken his eyes off of me since he was born. He knew at every moment exactly where I was.

I remember being so excited to share my baby at Christmas. To celebrate the holidays as a foursome family and how I could not wait to bring him downstairs to explore the lights on the tree and any goodies Santa had brought him in his stocking. I was so antsy to get him downstairs to see his big sister tear through her gifts like wildfire.

At 6 weeks old, Chad had developed a full on personality. He knows what he wants, when it wants it, and substitutes do not count. He is a purist, plain and simple. Give him the real thing. He'll give you the real thing back, guaranteed.

I remember Chad sitting up for the first time, and he was instantly addicted to his newfound skill. The smile on his face said it all. "Look at me!! I can do it!!!" However, his newly discovered ability did not make him any more independent. Still addicted to Mommy.

Each day, he changes so much. I am amazed at how he is growing so quickly. It seems to be going by much faster this time around than it did with Cari. Perhaps because my time is split. Perhaps because resources are split. But my heart is not split. Love is not split. It is multiplied.

I love how when I am rocking him before his naps, he looks up at me so sweetly and gingerly and lets out a huge grin, from ear to ear, letting me know that he is in his happy place. Nothing could light him up more than that. Being held tightly, close to my heart, eye to eye.

I love watching him from the rear view mirror at the oh-so-many stoplights as he slowly opens and closes his fingers, one by one, clutching onto the air as if it will fly away if he doesn't hold on tight enough. His eyes look in wonderment as his fingers are moving, not understanding how it all works together, but in awe of the magic of it.

I love how his big sister is beginning to love him just as much as his father and I do. Slowly, but surely, she is coming around. The kisses prove it.